saw a video clip in LTB class today. wah it was super long.. like 80 mins plus. a lot of ppl were falling asleep haha.
personally though, it was such an inspiring speech i dunno how anyone can sleep, but that's just me. it was a speech by Professor Randy Pausch from Carnegie-Mellon U. it was part of a "Last Lecture" series where the theme was kinda like if you had one last lecture to give, what would you say.
it was kinda like those wow-moments that Prof Estad talks about, except that the WHOLE speech was a wow-moment.
i had several key takeaways from the speech.
1. Brick walls are there to show you how badly you want things - they're meant for keeping the REST out!
2. Always have fun. In fact, try not to know how not to have fun!
3. Give people time. The good in them will shine through eventually.
now for number 1, it really struck a chord. everybody's had moments where they don't know whether to give up. it goes somewhat like this: you find a cause worth time and effort. you put in what you've got. hell you put in more than that, you put in things you didnt even know you had or could do. there's some progress and then it stagnates. and you're left wondering whether you missed something. it's times like that when you wonder whether you're still doing the right thing. and i was at such a cross-roads. so to hear that message about break walls really meant a lot to me. i thought to myself, how badly do i want it? and of course to answer that question, you first have to ask yourself, is it worth it? when broken down into such simple terms, it became really easy to see. cause it's definitely worth it. and i'm not giving up that easily.
number 2 was something good to hear too! i mean i'm all about having fun haha. reminds me of a little rant during one of my LTB meetings last week. i guess i reacted slightly strongly to the suggestion that we could be more focused. i said "i really don't think that's the case. and if it were up to me, i wouldnt change a thing. why? because we're effective. we manage to accomplish everything that we set out to do. and we have fun along the way, which is a great thing. i mean sure we can be more efficient by having less fun. but then where do you draw the line? the best efficiency is achieved when you have zero fun. is that what we want?" on hindsight, it seems quite eloquent haha. ok /shameless. but i dunno if i came across too strongly.
for number 3, i dont really have much to say, except that it's a good lesson to bear in mind. because that's something that i lack.
ahh, it's the last week of classes. i know i'm gonna miss some of my friends, especially my LTB team mates. i'll be the first to admit, for quite awhile i was thinking "this looks like it's gonna be a strict working-relationship." and to some extent, it was. we met for meetings and disappeared after that. even lunch was a rarity. but the whole hospitalisation incident really changed my outlook of my team. we put work aside and went to visit meaghan in hospital. the atmosphere was unbelievable. care and concern really filled the room. and we, or at least i, felt her determination to participate. also, i felt her pride at being part of the team when we showed her our presentation. then after that when we all went for supper, that was like our first bonding session haha. and from then on, i really felt that this team could go far beyond any working-relationship. we were officially "friends". now i use friends in a strict sense of the word. by friend i dont mean random person who adds you on facebook, i mean someone whom you could hang out with and just talk. in a fast moving world, just chilling and talking is so important, yet always so underrated.
miss the smilers :D
last few days of holidays before school starts. well dont really have an aversion to school starting, just resignation that life is gonna be busy busy busy again. the past month of holidays has been pretty eventful. well actually compared to others, it's not that eventful per se; but i'm happy with what i've done during these holidays.
-attended andy's, joses', ashley's and esther's birthdays
-went on a kickass HK trip with leandra and krisa, thereby getting to know ayron and kelvin in the process
-hung out with amie a couple of times
-met up with the sec sch peeps, zh, alex, SA, bangballs, sam chan, peter, teng chek, teng howe
-had dinner with the csp ppl
-had reunion with the sbones on NYE
well it's been smashing and ideally i'd catch up with a few more ppl like taiwei, zhengyang, j, and perhaps some bgs classmates, but hey i'm not complaining haha. it's been more than satisfactory already :D
still not sure if it was the right thing to do, but if i never got around to doing it, im sure it wouldve been a huge regret. ah well, at least things arent as bad as i thought, and there still seems to be some light at the end of this winding tunnel.
go go go.
did i do the right thing?
shattered.
spent an awesomeness-filled week in HK with leandra, krisa and ayron in HK last week. i always felt that the people you're with is way more important than the location you're going to in terms of importance in making a holiday enjoyable. so being fairly close to the 2 girls already, i was kinda optimistic that the trip would be fun. leandra actually only introduced ayron to krisa and myself on the first day of the trip at the airport. but having said that, you can't spend 7 days holidaying with someone (and in my case, even the same room) and not get to know the person. so now i prob know more abt ayron than many other ppl whom i've known longer heh.
i could blog at length abt the various sights that we saw in HK, but hey we have leandra's fantastic photos to remember them with. so instead i'll just list some highlights here:
- exploring the "Far East-like" malls with small retailers
- finally venturing to try fermented beancurd
- being super impressed by the efficient public transport system
- the enthralling view and wind on top of Victoria Peak
- ayron's aunt, leandra's ku ma, louis, kelvin
- krisa and ayron's constant sniping at each other
- camwhoring EVERYWHERE
- noticing that it's brighter at 11pm than at 5pm
- the kickass science museum
- ocean park!
- the droolworthy milk dessert and milk tarts
[b]- and most importantly, my dear friends with whom i spent 7 unforgettable days with[/b]
i guess im sentimental like that haha. like i come back from vacation and the most precious thing to me is how my relationships with certain friends have been significantly strengthened. i remember saying that leandra, krisa and myself were getting more and more alike because we were influencing each other. i was making the two of them lamer, leandra was making krisa and myself more perverse while krisa was making leandra and myself more bimbotic hahaha. also really grateful to ayron for being patient and showing us around HK. and louis as well for introducing some places to us. not forgetting kelvin as well, in whom i seem to have found a rather nice person to befriend heh.
rawr, can't wait for the next one.
been close to a month since i last updated. it's not that nothing's been happening, but rather that so many things have happened at a whirlwind pace. also i guess in general, things had been going fairly well so i didnt have any stimulus to rant or rave about anything in particular.
that changed this morning. when i woke up at 830, i realised that i'd received an sms at 5+ in the morning from grace. in a nutshell, the report wasn't completed and she needed my help. except that i had to get to school and attend a class of my own within 90mins. sick realisation set in as i realised that finally, the shortcomings of my group were about to be cruelly exposed on report submission day.
it's not that i didn't realise it before. but it's easy to play the big-hearted person and say "oh everyone has limitations and everybody did their best" when things went well. it's when you fall short of the mark that you sit up and lament the cruel hand that fate has dealt you. i'd hate to go into specifics and pinpoint exactly where each person didnt come through, for that easily translates into a personal attack, and we dont need more of these things in daily life. but when you've tried so damn hard yourself, and you're certain that the end result is lacking due to a lack of effort and not ability, that option is tempting.
of course it's always dangerous when you're convinced that it's not your fault, least of all because in part it could be, but because there's a certain hubris about it which overcomes rationality and sentiment altogether.
- you start to compare the individual time spent on a supposed group effort
- you start to think if everybody has really value-added to the group
- worst of all, you start questioning if everybody really wants to do as well as you do
certainly those comparisons are greatly unfair, for everybody has different abilities and limitations. but in such a present state of mind, you don't care about relativity, you only bother about absolutes. you start feeling indignant and think "What's that? Everybody contributes in their own way? Yeah i guess that's fair, if you're friggin Marxist. It's a results-driven world and nobody cares about your little behind-the-scenes if your end products don't show for it."
this is arrogant, this is wrong and this is unwarranted. but if you ask me whether i can look at some people in the eye and say "I do not blame you", then i'm sorry, i can't do it. maybe when my sense of reasoning returns, but again, sorry, not today.
yay celebrated 21st (evil laugh) bday yesterday at starbucks. invited friends from uni, jc, sec and hell even PY! by coincidence or otherwise, 21 ppl showed up haha, whoa! had a fantastic time catching up with everybody and lemme express my thanks to everybody who made a special effort to slot me into their busy schedules to attend this event:
zh
alex
ks
chung
teng chek
teng howe } great to see that everyone's still tight man
leandra
esther
paul
hon boon
vanessa
lulu } fellow csp ppl! the very first ppl i met in uni. rox. much. ya.
joses
louisa
jason
weiyuan } sbonesssss. thanks for coming! haha our class is really dwindling, all overseas liao.
xinyi
amie
zhengyang
tai wei
yee heng } thank you all for coming even though yall didnt know many (or any!) other ppl there! really meant alot!
and also a shoutout to other ppl who were so kind as to send me birthday greetings!
christine
andy
cat
j
caryn
krisa
alan
andy
nick
ephraim
jo-jo joel
ash
derek
teng chi
debbie
zhiyang
grace
adeline
shawn
jem
john
edward
alvin
sung ann
joel
HUGE thanks to everyone really, for a sincere gesture, no matter how small, goes a loooooong way!
oh yes not forgetting the presents! thanks everyone!
